Little Pieces

And so...

The high lights and low lights of February's contribution to the painting: Wonderful birthday full of laughs and yummy treats and Anthropologie.  And, a virus for Valentine's Day that attacked both me and my honey and knocked us out.  He was worse off than me, for sure.  Which serves him right for giving it to me in the first place!  What was he thinking?!  

;) wink

Maybe I will regain the energy to write a longer entry tomorrow.  For now, I will just share my delirious scribbles that landed on my bedside paper.  

I called it Little Pieces because I don't have the brain energy to be more clever than that.

Little pieces may fall

Upon me when I see the sky

Why fall freely in the twist of fate

And turn of time

I may come to you

I may stay behind

Either or is which way

I claim to be mine

Come see the pieces

Come see them fall

I collect and mash them up

And I throw them against the wall

Break and shatter, let me see

The pieces rise to fall

It seems that this is my destiny

My rhythm and rhyme of a dead end song 

Believe me, I'm not rolling out of bed in despair.  I'm not boo-hooing in the sack.  It's just what came out this time.  I'm actually quite cheerful, although full of fatigue, and am looking forward to a night full of sweet dreams complete with fluffy white sheep and twinkling stars that grant all of my wishes true.  

No.

You aren't ever supposed to outgrow those dreams. (I know that's what you were thinking.)

Night. Night. 

Another Mix Fffor You

I either dreamed sitting up in bed, looking at my phone and saying Fffriday, Fffebruary Fffourth, hmm?  Or I did that and fffreaked Nick out.  I'm sure the expression on my face was one of "What does it all mean?"  Things are different in la la land.  They seem more important and more dramatic.  Poor Nick. He married a weirdo.

Another Music Mix.  Check it out.   

1. Supermassive Black Hole, Muse- Black Holes and Revelations
Black patent stiletto boots, check.  Mini skirt, check.  Whip... umm, don't have that on file.  I will just bitch-slap the first person I see and that will have to do.  Hopefully they will see my earbuds and realize I'm just in character.  Frisky little tune, this one. 

2. No You Girls , Franz Ferdinand- Tonight: Franz Ferdinand

This song makes me think of guys wearing skinny jeans, but that can be looked over due to it being super fly, yo!  This one is a get-ready song.  Get dressed, get your hair did, put on your red lipstick, throw a scarf 'round yo neck... prance out the door.

3. Who Is It (7" Edit), Michael Jackson- King Of Pop

Awesome.  I love the snapping/spoons beat going on here.  And it features the tremendous "Hee, hee" in that high-pitched-only-Michael-Jackson-can-do-this fashion. 

4. Feelin' Love, Paula Cole- This Fire

Watch out... don't make out with yourself!  

5. Everybody Here Wants You , Jeff Buckley- Sketches for My Sweetheart The Drunk

"Why did you die?" Ugh.  That's what I think lots of times when admiring his talent.  I wish this guy had lived on for a long, long time.  This song is evidently about a super hott (don't forget the second 't') lady.  I can't tell, are they together or not?  I have different versions of his p.o.v. one day to the next.  Most times I believe he sings to a stranger he has locked eyes with across a room.   

I am posting lyrics... check this out.  Awesome. Even better when you hear his voice and the music.

Twenty-nine pearls in your kiss, a singing smile,
Coffee smell and lilac skin, your flame in me.
Twenty-nine pearls in your kiss, a singing smile,
Coffee smell and lilac skin, your flame in me.
I'm only here for this moment.

I know everybody here wants you.
I know everybody here thinks he needs you.
I'll be waiting right here just to show you
How our love will blow it all away.

Such a thing of wonder in this crowd,
I'm a stranger in this town, you're free with me.
And our eyes locked in downcast love, I sit here proud,
Even now you're undressed in your dreams with me.
I'm only here for this moment.

I know everybody here wants you.
I know everybody here thinks he needs you.
I'll be waiting right here just to show you
How our love will blow it all away.

I know the tears we cried have dried on yesterday
The sea of fools has parted for us
There's nothing in our way, my love

Don't you see, don't you see?
You're just the torch to put the flame
to all our guilt and shame,
And I'll rise like an ember in your name.
I know, I know,

I know everybody here wants you.
I know everybody here thinks he needs you.
I'll be waiting right here just to show you
Let me show that love can rise, rise just like
embers.

(While "I know everybody here wants you." Repeats)
Love can taste like the wine of the ages, baby.
And I know they all look so good from a distance,
But I tell you I'm the one.
I know everybody here will thinks he needs you,
thinks he needs you
And I'll be waiting right here just to show you.

6. Dream Brother (Nag Champa Mix), Jeff Buckley- Grace (Legacy Edition) 

J.B. Repeat.  Burn the Nag Champa. (I always do anyway.)  I even bring my weaved basket out that looks exactly like a Cobra basket sans poisonous fanged reptile. 

Kidding, not really, but it just occurred to me that props could be fun. 

7. Sister Contine, Rusted Root- 20th Century Masters, The Millennium Collection: The Best of Rusted Root (Remastered)

This song and Blue Diamonds have been at the top of our Most Played rankings on our itunes for years & years & years.  That sums it up.

8. Closer [Presets Remix], Kings of Leon-  Come Around Sundown [Deluxe Version]

You will be cool by default as this song plays. I'm into remixes such as this one. There have been a few listed.

9. They Don't Care About Us, Michael Jackson- King Of Pop

Probably true.  

10. I Turn My Camera On, Spoon

The funny thing is, I was playing these songs as I was writing this entry.  I stopped to get my camera to take a shot of China upside down in her basket, belly up, looking precious.  So, I did in fact turn my camera ON when they said "I turn my camera on."  Ha!  

11. You'll Find a Way (Switch and Sinden Remix), Santigold- Santigold

Apres Diem in Atlanta.  Green tea and broccoli soup with my friend Arin.  This song comes on.  We stop mid conversation.  Ask the waitress, "What is this playing?"  We leave, go look for the cd at Borders off Ponce, give money to a homeless lad, and then carry on with our evening.  It is that powerful of a song.

12. Paper Planes, M.I.A.- Kala  She was born in London to a Sri Lankan political activist family.  She moved back there with them when very young.  She saw a lot and says a lot of interesting things.  There is much more to her than the music.  I don't know everything about her, but she seems legit from her own experiences.
13. Exo-Politics, Muse- Black Holes and Revelations

Another great Muse tune.  Kinda spooky. 

14. Misery, Maroon 5- Hands All Over

Oh yeh.

15. Crept And We Came, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony- E. 1999 Eternal

Ha!! Didn't see that one coming did you?  (Takes you back, doesn't it?)

I bet you can't even see their mouths moving.

16. Russian Roulette, Rihanna- Rated R

I think I cried in my car the first time I heard this song. Cheesy. I know. But, I did. I was like "Oh, no, Rihanna!" I really love a lot of her songs.

17. Hey Mama, Black Eyed Peas- Elephunk

If you remember the video it makes it better.  They have a few examples of the aforementioned "ass-only" dance from yesterday's post. And one girl does that with inverted arms... go figure!  This group seems to never make a wrong turn.  My friend Arin took me to their opening concert in Atlanta before I moved to Edenton.  It was awesome.  Fergie is incredible.  And the name will.i.am... the best one out there.

18. Any Other Day, Wyclef Jean- Carnival, Vol. II: Memoirs of an Immigrant

Norah Jones is beautiful, no?  She is superb.  This song, I'm sure you know, but it is a must-have in your music library.

19. Video (Main), India.Arie- Acoustic Soul

We all need to hear this.  She says it the best I've heard it said.

20. Canned Heat, Jamiroquai- High Times - Singles 1992-2006

Nick loves Jamiroquai.  I need to get him a disco ball and roller skates for this song.  Supposedly, he can speed skate.  Don't tell him I told you. ;)  This boogie is for real!

I found it again!

I really wished "I did it again!" would have worked as a title considering I've just mentioned Britney Spears in a public post today and the previous post is named "oops".  It would have made this whole bit of madness seem intentional on a more Universal level... but it just didn't work.  Close enough, though.
Good news!  Guess what.  Yes.  I found my missing blog post.
Ooah! Ooah!  I just raised the roof!
Turns out my wishes get granted these days quicker than over night, yes sir'ee!
What happens when a not-completely-computer-techno-literate gal like me lands in a heap of techno-trouble?  She tries to be IT genius... but it doesn't work.  Then, she pouts a little bit because it doesn't.  She scurries like a mad scientist from room to room, huffing and puffing and mumbling.  She forget to eat dinner in the midst of her worry.  When she remembers she forgot to eat dinner, she heads to the fridge to eat cheese and strawberries and calls her mom and dad to complain about how she messed up and it sucks.
Then, she remembers, "Oh, you know, I'm really a lot more positive than this.  I will find it."  She sighs and sucks on her strawberry as she twiddles her hair and looks up and around as if the answer exists in her eyebrows.  Then, drum roll...... she gets it. She starts to use her own resources and NOT try and morph into an IT wizard.
My resources?  Husband, sister, mother, father.
Yes.  That close to home.  That is where my answer rests.

I said to myself, "Sister gets my entries as soon as I post them.  She told me once that she doesn't even click on my blog, she reads them as they are sent... as a full article.  Husband gets them too!"
Then, I snatched his blackberry up like a ninja and scrolled, and there she was- the sweetest sight to my previously sad little eyes.  My entire entry as originally sent.  Meaning, there were words on the page!
I am taking a deep breath and releasing.  Feels so good.  Mission Accomplished.
I found it at 11:02.  That's no coincidence, friends.  That's my sign.  That is an angel's way of saying, "See, when you relax and let us in, we give you the answers you seek."
After I copied and pasted and emailed and forwarded and all of the above over and over, I ran upstairs and gave Nick the biggest smashed-up lip kiss a sleeping man has ever gotten.  He was pretty cute about it.  He has no clue what he did that was so great, but claims it.  His eyes were fuzzy, but I think he got my point.  I am very happy that his phone gave me my magic.  He gets credit.
This is why I never, ever give up.  Even if I say I am going to bed, I keep trying.  I might be trying with a different strategy, a more relaxed natural method, but I'm still convinced I will find what I'm looking for... and I did.  Lesson reiterated.  There is ALWAYS an answer.  Change where you look.
I'm going to repost the post.  Check back for it.
smiles here.
 

oops.

I somehow deleted my last post "Luxury-ess: Love"- which makes me very sad because it is the one and only time I didn't save a copy first and just wrote/posted quickly without being RESPONSIBLE.  Deep sigh.  Frowning face.
How did I do that?  You'd think it would be an obvious mistake and that I could at least remember deleting it, but no. It magically removed itself from my page.  And, I've been attempting IT Recovery Mission Impossible ever since.
I am going to hope that somehow it comes back to me as magically as it disappeared.  Maybe when I wake in the morning I will get a present, a LOVEly present called "Recovered Post".  Fingers crossed, toes crossed, eyes crossed... whatever it takes, I'm crossing all parts available.
Sorry for the blank space under the title.  I hope to fix it soon.
Good night.

Luxury-ess: Love

'Tis the month of love.
Do people think of the word "love" and immediately judge its abundance against an outside source?  It seems that most often when speaking of love we are referring to something given to another, rarely to the self. 
Self-Love.
It's not greedy.  It's not conceited or vain.  It's a stipulation, a requirement for a happy life.  Don't ever let another person tell you otherwise.  You are worthy of your own love.  First and foremost a being must embrace and adore itself.  Then, giving to others is easy and enjoyed.  It's basic, Oprah didn't invent this.  Look at babies and small children.  They love themselves!  They expect love and give love freely.  Then, we change for some reason.  We attack ourselves, we attack others, we are attacked by others... silly people.  Let's ditch this and just make an agreement to acknowledge that we can only control our own life. We can control whether we give love. We can control whether we accept it. So, give it to yourself, and accept it. Feels fuzzy.
Make a Valentine for yourself.
"Self, will you be my Valentine?  Yes?  No?  Maybe?"
Circle "Yes." and send back.
And be sweet to you.
Love is a luxury.
February 1st I got a wake up call in the form of love.  I was sleeping under a puffy white comforter and my pups were cuddled next to me and my husband sat down on the bed, smiling at me.  I woke up and smiled back and edged my foot out from under the covers and sweetly threw it at him.  He didn't snarl at me, nope.  He gave me a foot rub and then even included a second for foot number two.  He has really strong fingers and as a person who begs massage therapists "you can push harder, please", his strength is impressive.  I like to be almost in tears when getting a massage.  Otherwise I feel like I'm being petted and that's annoying when I want real work to be done to my muscles.  Nick, on the other hand, I have to tell, "Softer. You have to ease up."  Maybe it is the golf... strong hands... but I have trouble breathing when he gives me his version of a "deep tissue" shoulder rub.  Anyway, I got the most perfect foot massage.  He must have thought he was barely touching me, when it was actually just-right.
Then, I got a "Happy Birthday Month" message from my mom.  Lovely.
And next, a birthday card in the mail from my mother-in-law.  It was of a girl dancing on a world of roses and said "Yes ma'am...  This is your year!"  So sweet.
They all know me.  They know I am obsessed with February. Even more obsessed with the number 11.  Double it for the numbers 2.11. And since this will be like 2.11 squared... they have gone all out for me.  What is even better than the gestures is what it means.  It means they pay attention to me and my quirks and care enough to participate.
My lovely friend Kate, who is already gone, used to always talk about Golden Years when we were little.  She would say it was when you turned the age of the day of your birth.  So, mine would have been when I was eleven.  No doubt, we had many discussions about it at the birthday party.  She was probably holding her frankle in her hand so she could speak faster as she gave me the details.  She was/is something special, that one.  One of a kind.  I remember when she left us I thought, "But, her Golden Year is coming."  July 19th... and she would be 19. That doesn't leave my head.  But, maybe, just maybe, it was still poetic for her.  I'm sure she would have it no other way.  This year holds that same sort of anticipation.  It is like a Golden Year, but it is a "once in all of time" event instead of a "once in a lifetime" event. 
Blow.... candles... flames out... "I wish for the Love and the Light.  I wish for them both to take flight.  Take your course and flow.  Spread like fire and grow."
If you are missing a foot rub or birthday card from another take the chance to express self love.
Recommendation:
Mug of Warm Tea- mix green tea with peppermint tea.
Bar of Endangered Species All-Natural Dark Chocolate with Deep Forest Mint
(10% of net profits donated to help support species, habitat, and humanity... this is called spreading the love!)
Challenge: Don't chew the chocolate.  Let it melt slowly (in your warm peppermint mouth) and savor the flavors blending and changing.  
This chocolate is a great gift too, or a pick-me-up for someone like our friend that stepped on black ice and broke their foot.  Dark chocolate is intense and works miracles with moods.
Side note- You probably won't, because of the peppermint flavor which is delicious, but... If you need sweetener for your tea, try honey, raw sugar, or Stevia (100% natural).  Ditch Sweet-n-Low, Equal, and Splenda... FOREVER.  They are the very opposite of self-love.  They are self-destruction. 
So, now we part. 
I hug you. (Southerners are huggers)  
I tell you I think you are great and beautiful and full of potential for being the person you want to be.  
Do you believe me??
Saying yes is your luxury.


psst... here's the chocolate bar...
http://chocolatebar.com/products.php?product=3oz.-All%252dNatural-Dark-Chocolate-with-Mint

Mix-a-lot

My yesterday...

1. The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore, James Morrison- Undiscovered

This guy has a remarkable voice and this song is so heartfelt.  I adore it.  Listen to it everyday.

2. Details In the Fabric (feat. James Morrison), Jason Mraz- We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things (Bonus Track Version)

This song says what I would want to tell a person I love.  If I had a child I would say these words to him/her. "Hold your own. Know your name.  And go your own way."  I do yoga to this song.  I find it perfect for such... and at the end the answering machine recording is hilarious.

(It also ties in, word-wise, nicely with my book.) 

3. Lover, You Should've Come Over, Jeff Buckley- Grace (Legacy Edition) 
One of my all-time favorite songs EVER!! I heard it for the first time and said, "Nick, I love it!" He looked it up and bought it for me on the spot.  This artist, Jeff Buckley, has an interesting and tragic story.  He died too soon, at a very young age.  An all too familiar story among the extremely talented. (He drowned; he didn't O.D.)

4. Fall At Your Feet (Acoustic), James Blunt- Back to Bedlam

This guy is amazing.  I have had one of his cds in my car disc player (All the Lost Souls) without ever taking it out, for over three years now.  I have several copies of that album... and must say, "Bryant Odom, thank you."  With this song, the acoustic whisper is key.

5. Slow Dancing In A Burning Room (Acoustic), John Mayer- The Village Sessions

Mr. Mayer, you are very, very good.  Lyrics are very visual and his voice... A+.  I prefer all of his songs acoustic (that's the case with every artist it seems).  I like to hear the guitar and it sounds better this way.  Dude can get it on the guitar! For real!

6. Misery (Acoustic), Maroon 5- Hands All Over

Smooth and choppy.  Their songs are high style.  

7. Love Is Blindness, U2- Achtung Baby

U2 being on any list needs zero words.  But, what a haunting song.  Haunting songs soothe me like warm tea.

8. Just Breathe, Pearl Jam- Backspacer

Really.  Just breathe.  Great advice.  Pearl Jam, "I love you."

9. When I Was In Your Heart, David Gray- Foundling

David Gray, a modern day poet and singer/ songwriter.  I read his lyrics and marvel at them.  His voice projects an intense amount of emotion.  I say favorite a lot, I know.  I like lots of stuff the best, it seems, but David Gray is my absolute favorite artist.  His albums can be listened to in entirety and really transport.  Every time this one comes on, I say, "Ooh!  My favorite!!" Like an annoying teenage girl.  And in reality I have about 20 favorite David Gray songs.  The Irish accent... niiiice.

10. Bedshaped, Keane- Hopes and Fears

Wonderfully sad.  I love it when men play the piano.

11. Porcelain, Red Hot Chili Peppers- Californication (Bonus Track Version)

Red Hot Chili Peppers?  Yes. Red Hot Chili Peppers.

12. The Beauty of The Rain, Dar Williams- The Beauty Of The Rain

If you haven't heard it yet, just listen.  It's glorious.

13. Saturday Sun, Nick Drake- Five Leaves Left (Remastered)

Another favorite guy. Another poet, singer/songwriter. Another tragic story.  Another song that is so beautiful it can make you weep.

14. No Ceiling, Eddie Vedder- Into the Wild (Music for the Motion Picture)

Eddie Vedder is cool factor to the max.  The soundtrack he did for Into the Wild is sheer genius.  This is a snippet, listen to the entire album.  A lot of what he gave to Sean Penn for the movie he handed him three days after watching a rough cut for the first time.  WoW.

15. Waiting for You, Ben Harper- Both Sides of the Gun

Painful.  Forbidden love.  Perfect for what I'm writing.

16. Exit Music (For A Film), Radiohead- OK Computer

Some may not like this.  There's nothing cheery about it, but it's just really my style of music, so it made the list.  Its name is perfect because it leaves you feeling as if you've just watched a confusing film about people who probably died and here you sit, watching credits roll, wondering, "What was that I just watched?"

17. See You Soon (Live), Coldplay- Coldplay: Live 2003

This mix of songs was a mix for a friend.  This is her favorite group so it was given the grande finale spot.  Coldplay, a group that, when they come to Atlanta, gives a shout out "thank you" to the crowd.  They say they were ready to hang it up, but the way the crowd in Atlanta went crazy for them made them hold on a bit. Dave FM played them all the time and there was a huge following early on.  Atlantans are over-the-moon for Coldplay. 

I burned my friend a cd or two... or seven!!  She requested one, a fabulous Jason Mraz album, and I got sucked in.  Before I knew it, it was 4 P.M.  The mix above is a particular favorite.  These artists are some of my very favorite and these songs are some of the ones I look most forward to hearing on their albums.  It's hard to draw the line when choosing favorite songs for a list.  Draw The Line... that album, in fact, is jammed full of David Gray favorites.  I listen to it nearly every, single day of my life.    

It started with Jason Mraz, led to a mix of favorites (above) that I love listening to while writing, then to another "booty mix" of great dance songs that made me miss the ATL, and then I made several mixes of fun music from across the board featuring everything from Satin In A Coffin, Modest Mouse to Cold Desert, Kings of Leon to Time to Pretend, MGMT... hell, I'll just list them too.  If you are interested in music and haven't heard some of these by chance... it could lead to extreme happiness in musical discovery.

Before doing that though, I must make a confession.  Before the day was done (nod to talent, Nick Drake) I was slap back in the 80's.  Nick and I love the 80's.  We really do have fun listening to all 80's varieties and man do we dance.  I'm gonna just throw him under the bus here...  Home-boy's got a booty.  He is stacked in the back for a white boy, no joking.  And I'm not making fun, because it takes one to know one.  I've had my share of remarks from behind.  Coming out of Whole Foods... in the mall... people aren't scared to ask you about it. One of our friends even made reference to it during our wedding festivities... there isn't a moment that goes by without a booty joke. Anyway, it gets fun around our house when the 80's music hits the speakers and 'dance party' is unleashed.  Nick has me in stitches... I laugh so hard.  He does all these funny moves that are so right-on 1986.  He even moon walks and smashes that with Mr. Roboto and ends up with a Moon-Roboto that looks segmented like a strobe light in a dark room.  He does this thing that looks like The Hammer (don't act like you aren't familiar with M.C. Hammer...) and can travel all over the house that way!!  It's incredible.  He doesn't tire.  And then, the best is when he imitates the "ass-only" dance that claimed every rap video from the 90's on to today.  He is so funny.  When he really gets going and does all these things back to back, no stopping in between, we all (me and China and especially Selma Lu) stop with frozen expressions and don't move- we don't even blink- because we don't want to miss anything.  I hold my laughter until he finishes, so my ribs end up interlocked, Selma stops chasing his feet and stands with a doggy-smile and crossed-eyes (meaning happy perplexity), and China just jerks her head, looking from this side of the room to that side to keep up with what he's doing.  At the end, he just looks at me and says, "Yeh? Yeh?  You like that?" in a Ben Stiller sort of way.  Giggle, laugh... no.  Rolling-on-the-floor funny is what it is for me.   

That was last night.

I had Beat It, by the fabulous and one and only, Michael Jackson playing when he walked in the door.  (I burned a couple of cds for my nieces and nephew, thinking, "OMG!! If they don't know about all things Michael Jackson, that would be a SIN!! Must Burn Disc.) 

I was playing Michael Jackson's music and found myself dancing with a huge smile on my face and near tears in my eyes.  That is what his music translates to in my age bracket.  Happy, happy memories.  I really did hope, as I was mid stride in Smooth Criminal, that he is somewhere looking down at all the people just like me in the world who are happy instantly simply because his music plays.  When it does, the body just has to dance, no debating.

When thinking of Michael Jackson, emotions trigger from many things.  Enormous talent... like as big as it gets, happy music memories, the acknowledgment of how "cool" we were back in the day, the tormented artist, the persecuted artist, the sex-scandal, freak-show, media-circus event that steered his life into the ground.  And then, the final act, when we all watched as his daddy referred to him only as "The Greatest Artist who ever lived" (which is too huge of a statement to be true, because art encompasses so very much... for instance, another Michael... Angelo, for one) repeatedly before plugging his own come-back... never a genuine tear for simply his "son".  

Then, we all watched This Is It.  I was surprised.  It was really great.  And, Nick said what I was thinking.  "There is no way the person we are watching, the person that is apologizing for not being able to hear through his equipment, so considerate of everyone's feelings, did what he was accused of doing."  I agreed.  Seemed impossible.  

Then, a very faint news break, the boy, grown up now, who accused Michael Jackson of sexual molestation, was black-mailed by his own father to do so for money all those years ago.  Where were the headlines now?  I wondered if anyone had given enough time to allow a name to be redeemed.  It is, after all, probably the largest factor of what caused his demise.  The stress of that, the drugs, the craziness that followed... too much.  Now, the baby-dangling episode... I can't say there is much of an excuse for that.  He should have known better than that.  But, wasn't he a boy inside?  Didn't he get left behind?  We poked and prodded him like a freak.  We made fun of him for being extreme.  Then, when he wasn't being extreme, we all got impatient... "Michael, do something nuts so we can have you back the way we expect you to be, our entertainment."

That is why I pull for Britney Spears.  Because, we create this madness with our consumption of tabloids and our need to judge... to tear down and build up on a whim.  Elvis couldn't withstand it, he turned to drugs and self-abused.  Michael Jackson couldn't withstand it, he turned to drugs and self-abused.  Then, here is Britney Spears, who was a kid too when her Circus started... news media had her obituary drawn up and ready for print... just wanting to be the first with breaking news.  Sad.  I pull for her.  Especially after viewing Kesha's performance on an awards show.  At least when Britney Spears performs... singing or faking, she is dancing up a storm and hauling a python around on her neck.  I used to not be Britney fan.  But, then, she became an extreme under dog.  She became a spectacle.  She became this person everyone judged and said with certainty they would never be like in the same circumstance.  I thought, "Really?  How do you know?  You've never been caged."  I saw a video of her on the beach once.  Only, she wasn't visible.  The view was from outside of the cameras.  She was smothered with big men with camera equipment and you could hear them taunting her, trying to get her to snap.  That changed my mind about celebrity and any judgements made of celebrities.  I know I would snap.  I would be irate.  And I would have to work at keeping my sanity if that surrounded me always and I was a game for everyone in the world.  Those that enter the celebrity arena later in life after real friends have been made are much better off.  They have reality.  The children who enter are close to doomed.  Unless they are like Dakota Fanning and have parents who yank them out of Hollywood for a breath of air, right?  Parents have a lot to do with it.

Okay, so that was an unexpected conversation with myself on the topic of doomed pop stars.  Sorry.

Here is the list of the other mixes.  I love these songs and am in fact listening to the assortment now.  

And I actually hear a couple playing in my head as I wake up in the morning, most mornings.  Float On, Modest Mouse... wakes me up from inside my mind 9 out of 10 mornings.  I like that.  It makes me smile.  I think someone is playing it for me, maybe an angel, knowing it translates to "Good Morning" for me.

Enjoy!


1. Give A Little More, Maroon 5- Hands All Over

Reminds me of driving in Atlanta and trying to not seat-dance myself into a wreck!  Impossible to sit still to this song.

2. Electricityscape, The Strokes- First Impressions Of Earth

I close my eyes and my body feels like it's moving when it's not.  Cool song.  Unique 'anticipation' mixed with 'gloom' feeling to this song.

3. Satin In A Coffin, Modest Mouse- Good News For People Who Love Bad News

One of the coolest groups ever.  In a weird way, this song makes you want to march.

4. God Put a Smile Upon Your Face (Remix), Coldplay- Single

One of my book-writing songs that embraces my surreal, warped state-of-mind required to do so.  Also, I itch to be in a movie scene: dark, dance club in an inner city with graffiti on the walls dancing by myself, slightly disoriented but confident... slow motion.

5. New Year's Prayer, Jeff Buckley- Sketches for My Sweetheart The Drunk

This one I stay up late to, dancing until tired enough to sleep.  Another disorienting type of song with an eastern flare (which I'm always attracted to).  The music alone sounds really spiritual.  Love it.  Jeff Buckley is an ALL-TIME favorite.  Incredible vocalist.  Can't skip this one, must listen to the whole song.

6. Cold Desert, Kings of Leon- Only By the Night

4,5,and 6 on this list go together to me.  Just do yourself a favor and grab a glass of wine.  Play them loudly, dress sexy, and risk looking like a fool... but drop all guard and let body move to music.  This one builds and relents in a great way.

7. Sing For Absolution, Muse- Absolution

Their songs sound movie-worthy.  They are mysterious, defiant, and empowering.  You can feel energy stirring immediately as they play. 

8. No Curtain Call, Maroon 5- Hands All Over

I do some sort of interpretive dance to this song that would no doubt classify me as weird if witnessed. ;)

9. High And Dry, Radiohead- The Bends

I love the tragic sound to this band.  That is how I interpret the sound.  They have been one of my top choices since I drove my silver Honda Civic, moon roof open, windows down.  In Moultrie, in Athens... Radiohead played.

10. Float On, Modest Mouse- Float On 

Aaaah.  Like I said, this song is a part of me now.  It wakes me up.  And the idea of Floating On is peaceful and uplifting to me.

11. Vaporize, Broken Bells- Broken Bells

This was shared with me by my Music Man friend.  This album rocks.

12. Use Me (Live), Craig Shields, Edwin McCain & Hootie & The Blowfish-The Best of Hootie & The Blowfish (1993-2003)

It never fails, every time Nick and I go to a Hootie concert we underestimate the amount of fun we are going to have.  We kill it at Hootie concerts.  We, fortunately, have been to more than a couple.  We have a mutual friend with Darius Rucker and Edwin McCain and so, at separate times, were able to hang out.  I remember when meeting Darius, he said, "Oh, my wife's name is Beth too."  

13. All Night, Damian Marley & Stephen Marley- Welcome to Jamrock

I stalked this song.

14. Sexy, Black Eyed Peas- Elephunk

I nearly fall off the treadmill when this song comes on.  I want to belly dance or stripper dance and the treadmill won't permit it.

15. Lost Without U, Robin Thicke- The Evolution of Robin Thicke (Deluxe Edition)

Great for solo dancing and excellent for the ego.

16. The Seed (2.0), The Roots & Cody Chestnutt- Phrenology

Instantaneous break-down song in the Cassini household. Very funky, very sexy, very funny! 

17. When Doves Cry, Prince & The Revolution- Purple Rain

I have locked myself in a room by myself and danced, twirl-my-hair work-it style, to this song since age 4 or 5. My family used to spy on me and embarrass me.  I cried at 5... I wink at spyers at 30.  

18. Gone Daddy Gone, Violent Femmes- Violent Femmes

ooh, Violent Femmes... naughty. Folk punk at its best.

19. Time To Pretend, MGMT- Time To Pretend 

The underwater submarine sounds open this song in a super-awesome way... and by the end of it, you are ready to marry a model, divorce her and die young via overdose!  They are very convincing :)

20. Flower, Moby- Play & Play: B Sides

My self-proclaimed soundtrack to life.  I like to envision myself walking down the sidewalk Angeline Jolie style, like a real bad-ass that has a glare that will literally kill.  Then, I can go steal a porsche and ride into Mexico as the sun sets and my hair whips out of the window as I speed down an isolated highway at 100 mph.  This is, of course, ridiculous fantasy... and not a real wish.  Don't go and report me to one of those stupid "tell on your neighbor" hotlines.    

More of the mixes to come later...

Selma just told me she needed to go outdoors for a break. That's what it means when she blows her lips at me and looks at the door. :)