time=life?

Mornin', Mornin'.  

That is how I learned to say Good Morning while living in Anguilla, BWI.  I noticed they were extremely early risers and this phrase means it is a really good morning.  I guess they drop a Mornin' when it is just fair or mediocre.  They, in general, stayed up late and got up early.  It could have something to do with the pace of their day.  Maybe they get to enjoy more of their days because they don't run themselves into the ground and enjoy looking around, stopping to laugh, and exercising the right to say "I'll get to that tomorrow... or next week."  That really means, "You'll have this done in four months if I like you."  There is one establishment there that I frequented and I liked the people a lot.  They rented cars and would provide tours of the island.  Wendell, the owner, did other things too of course, because Anguillans have multiple jobs.  In fact, they live longer and have less debt than Americans.  They build their houses as they go and don't 'borrow' them.  When I would go in to rent a car or set up tours or book any other service they provided I was typically working on a short deadline (the American way, you know, like "right now") and had a long list of things to complete or sort out- some of them not even on the island so imagination was key.  I have this image/memory in my head of me walking in the door with all of the frantic energy that comes with "I need this on American time (done right now) and not island time (not a chance you crazy American chica!), can you help me?"  The two wonderful ladies behind the counter would stare at me, smile slowly, and together they would remind me that I was acting crazy and needed to slow down in life.  They would tell me I was going to miss life in the process of hustling.  And all that time I thought I was a stop-and-smell-the-roses-er.  I thought I belonged in the club of people who stepped back and took it all in.  I guess that is outside of work.  When I work, I have found out, I get a bit fierce about it.  Any perfectionist trait moves forefront, and control-freak tendency bumps up a dozen notches, and I do not relax until it is done- and it better be right and make someone who judges it happy.  If not, I add pissed-off b*tch to the list of awful characteristics above.  It turns out I smell the roses if there is no deadline to run across behind them.  The only exception to this is my wedding.  I was zen, blissed-out, in an out-of-body state.  That entire wedding time was calm and we all glided through it.  I take some of that back.  On every event day I am as cool as a cucumber.  In the States I was okay on the job too, I have remembered.  For instance, at PureRed Creative I think I handled things in good time and in great spirits.  That is because I was one part of a huge team that was on top of everything rolling across their desks.  So, I'll give myself more credit than I did previously in this paragraph.  When slow motion is paired with right-now expectations I am frantic.  When warp speed is paired with right-now expectations I am fine.  But warp speed and right-now expectations drive people into the ground.  Slow motion paired with 'take it easy' style creates long-livers.  How many words have I invented and hyphenated in this entry already?  

Long-livers.  This is sweeter than saying old people.  Old is a nasty word to use on people.  Use old to describe stone walls and ancient trees and a pair of socks that need to retire to a trash can.  Right?  People, not old.  We all feel like 8-year-olds inside.  That is the puzzlement I hear expressed from everyone as they age and find themselves being pushed against their will into a category considered old.  Yikes.  I prefer having to recount my age when people ask because I don't think about it and/or give a flying kite about it one way or the other.  Jack Nicholson, I'm with you.  Time is for the birds.

Speaking of long-living.  I wrote something a while back that has served as useful to me recently. Specifically, a very tragic thing happened to a family living in Edenton.  I do not know them personally, but I do know some of their very close family friends personally and so I tried to be a good listener and friend for my friends that were experiencing this painful situation.  And, even though I did not know the family that lost their dearly loved and very young son, I thought of them often and sent out many prayers for them.  No one knows how to heal a heart from pain like that. The only chance of that happening stems between the hurt heart and Grace.  Those are my own thoughts anyway- loss of that sort knocks a soul off orbit and the only gravitational force strong enough to pull it back to what is most likely a new orbit, nowhere near the same, is God and a person's spirituality.  When my friend was wrapping her mind around the loss I was noticing that my heart ached with recognition of this kind of grief.  Emotions can challenge beliefs.  The mind/body/spirit has a lot to do.  I did recognize certain similarities between this loss and one I knew.  That's why when I spoke toward the above to give a sign of the bigger picture or help me get back to a happy space I was warmed inside when I reached in my bag not even ten minutes later and accidentally put my hand on folded paper.  I pulled the paper out and curiously opened it and found words that I had written on paper, folded them up, and forgot about them.  I read them.

On Longevity:

In this notion of protecting one's self against life, in this attempt to protect and be safe, the spirit is held back and in the effort to live a longer quality of life, the thing that happens instead is that life becomes one thing that holds fear and doubt and guessing.  In the attempt to savor life, in the attempt to show respect to the idea of life and that it is a precious, sacred thing- the life is drained from the process.  In this fear of doing something wrong, the life's joy that one wants to live for goes to the winds- vanishes and we are left with regret.  At the end of a long life we sit and recognize that our life's purpose of living a long life isn't enough.  It isn't longevity we wish for, it is passion and it is panache that we yearn for in life.  This cannot be gained in a hesitant, weak grasp of the days. But, to grab hold boldly your life and steer- That is the wish we make and only then do we sit at the end and face forward knowing that we have nothing to turn back on with the face of regret.

Because of the way people think of time being the most precious thing one can hold (the real prize isn't time) there is hiding and shrinking from death.  Because of this thinking, the person is deceived.  It is not time to cherish.  It is zest.  It is zest that matters most.  Live life as you wish and do it with happiness because this is why you live at all.

Next, is the one thing in the world that stops people from doing what they want.  The one item/reason contributed most is money.  Then time.  Then that the resources other than those wasn't available.  These reasons suffice in many lives.  Can we understand this and why?  It helps soothe the reality one has created and this choice of a life far from what they truly want.  It helps with the ability to absorb the life and way in the daily routine one performs.  It causes such sadness, but it is still the 'medicine' people prefer.  Whether or not it is the real reason at all does not matter.  It isn't the thing that is why one can or cannot live properly.

And this is the ticket.

This is the secret of why or why not one achieves or does not achieve dreams.

The reason is quite simple and does not require thought at all.

It is one of thoughtlessness.

It is candor.

None of it leads to a life distracted.  Have candor and have your life of dreams.  Having candor and having no fear is the clue.  It is the key.  It is how and why we will live a life full and not sit with regret in our heart and soul.  

It is why we can live such wonderful courses and walk with smiles and it leads to what is treasured. Now to cease the past mindset and go forward with candor...

Why else could we stop?  Why else could we stop from pursuing happiness of which we were created and not hope for more?

Don't look back.  

Look forward with vigor and with zest.

Have candor.

Clearly we do not see the simplicity when we are in the middle of it all.  We only see how simple it can be when we look into it from afar.  But it is very simple.  Not even thinking will make it accessible.  Don't even think and it will happen.  Do only in this moment what is pleasing and feels easy.  Do what feels easy because that is what is meant to be done.  If we find resistance then it is purposeful in shifting us.  

What would our advice be to ourselves at the end of a long life?

"Don't take the road to the end and not have many winding ways in between.  It seems that if you can find amusements on the way, it will be a great journey.  Don't worry and don't avoid your own desires.  Realize what you have.  And that is much!  It is much that you have wanted in the past. Realize this and soar.  

It is on the wings of a grateful bird that flight is taken.

Fly on the wings of a grateful bird and you will find pleasant winds upon your face.

Glide into a life of happy times.  It is in the ease that we fly the freest- There is no weight on the wings of the flier's feathers.  

Be resourceful with the way you pick your passions, love and wishes.  And that is all in the world to consider."   

             

Panache is a word of French origin that carries the connotation of a flamboyant manner and reckless courage.  Panache is now used to describe someone who has a dashing confidence of style, or shows a certain flamboyance and courage, and is a familiar word now in English. 

Candor is a whiteness, brilliance, unstained purity. It is freedom from prejudice or malice- fairness.  Kindliness.  Unreserved, honest, sincere expression.  Forthrightness.

Vigor is physical or mental strength, energy, or force. It is the capacity for natural growth and survival, as of plants or animals.  It is strong feeling; enthusiasm or intensity.

Zest is an enjoyably exciting quality.  It is a keen enjoyment- relish, gusto.

These words were helpful for me because one thing I recalled as a similarity between my friend's loss and the one I knew is that the ones we lost were fine examples of how to truly live.  Both were full of the words I used on paper.  And that made me happy.  For them, there was an understanding of the difference between going through the motions in life and living.  Either it was an understanding or uncontrollable urge... and either is brilliant to me.

Fast paced living or slow motion.  Recklessly daring or hesitant to the point of boring.  Or bits and pieces of all of these.  It is a matter of perspective to what is pleasing to us, but I wish to read these words more than once in while and in situations of many emotions because this perspective helps me to have a little hindsight in the present.  

Mornin' is now hindsight and I guess I should wish everybody an Afternoon, afternoon before leaving the page.

I'm going to grab hold of something boldly with lots of zest and panache.

ta-ta.