The Shizit

The weather is foreboding outside my windows.  Remembering the videos I saw of mile-wide tornadoes in Alabama makes it so.  Wind is whipping and the branches are bending.  There is lots of howling going on on the other side of the window pane.

I have two cravings lately.  The first is for cauliflower.  It's on my mind.  I should probably just give it to myself... but that would mean I had to go into the market here... which is a Food Lion... and images of employees bleaching meat in the back have recently re-emerged.  When was that expose?  The 1990s?  Yuck.  So, I have been holding out on purchasing food.  I have a stocked pantry and fridge/freezer.  That will do.  

The other craving is Maroon 5.  I have been waking up to them lately.  Particularly 'Never Gonna Leave This Bed'.  And that is pretty funny because it makes me want to stay in the bed and never leave the bed.  I like the bed.  I am not one of those people that have an issue with sleeping, falling asleep, sitting still, napping... I can do it!  And I love doing it!  I like wrapping up in the cool sheets and letting my body heat warm them to form a cozy cocoon.  I like the air in the room to be chilly so I feel even more snugly and special in my warm space beneath the fluffiness my duvet creates.  I am not an adrenaline junkie.  I like to sit still and absorb thoughts.  I like observing art.  I especially like observing exceptional art and performances.. like Black Swan, which I just watched the other day and am still enjoying the thought of it.  I love it.  It was a simple story that was turned into just what human beings are... complex, mental, emotional creatures that have the ability of creating something gloriously beautiful while they, at the same time, eff everything in their life up!  

(When I write eff that is a stand-in for a cuss word that I'm sure you can figure out and probably use.  I am using the substitute because I realize that not everyone lives with an Italian.  In our house that word is like a term of affection.  "Get the eff outta here!!"  "What the eff is that?"  You see, this word makes those sentences sweeter somehow in this house.  If they are left out then that means to take the tone seriously and one of us is probably mad.  You should hear Nick's older brother that looks and acts totally Hollywood or Rocker.  He could probably do anything and pull it off, but he cusses almost every other word... and it sounds fabulous and hysterical.)  

Back to subject...  My favorite type of movie is something that challenges me to think from my seat and sweeps me into the plot on screen at the same time.  I like to be engaged and to watch an interactive film.  To watch just entertainment can be okay, but it is boring mostly.  If I want to laugh it can be refreshing to relax and let someone else do all the thinking... no that's a lie.  I hate that.  I hate stupid comedy.  I actually hate class clowns and people that MUST be funny at all times because they depend on the laugh they get in return.  I hate feeling obliged to laugh at their joke (or sarcasm) that isn't funny, but I must "ha,ha,ha" anyway to fill that awkward void hanging in the air between bodies. As far as professionals go- Jim Carey is the most confusing to me.  I can laugh so hard at him or be really annoyed by how silly and forced he's acting.  My favorite types of funny are... situational (Ben Stiller is so great at this.  He gets himself into such uncomfortable situations that I have to make myself NOT leave the room because I can't bare to see the embarrassment on screen!  Love that.) or witty (Comments that are snappy and require a thinking, sharp individual to produce them.  Ya know, not just a fart.  Please quit writing farts for laughs unless it's an out-of-this-world crazy place and time to fart.  I do hate the word fart.  But, that's the way it is written to be funny because it's crude and crude gets laughs, right?  I prefer toot.  It's much cuter and is the only acceptable version of the word when describing little girl toddlers who produce such.  I think Vince Vaughn can be very witty.  And he talks so fast and has that quirky laugh that cracks me up.) or dark (I like dry and dark funny people.  I'm at a blank here for a really good example but I guess I'll throw in John Malkovich or Kevin Spacey.  They are funny and can be very dark, even sinister, while they make you giggle.) humor.  I guess that says a lot about my personality.  For instance, in movie theaters I laugh at off-beats.  My dad says I always have, even when little.  I used to laugh at strange things and it was noticeable because the theater was so quiet and there was my laugh... alone in the darkness.  But, every single time, my dad's laugh followed mine.  Because, he thought it was funny that I thought something was funny and was laughing when no one else was.  So he laughed at that.  I did that the other day when watching The Tourist with friends.  All the Russian gangsters hit the floor, shot dead in slow motion through huge glass windows from an across-the-street stake out.  And standing very beautifully, unscathed and in love are Angelina and Johnny.  Hahaha.  That's so funny.  It was mostly the way it was shot.  It was so over the top dramatic and of course we know how it's going to play out so I thought the director was attempting to make it sort-of comedic.  It was a comedy, right? ;)  I think I've already written that.  It wasn't long ago so it's fresh on my mind.

Oh my gosh, do you know what other thing is blistering me when watching movies and television.  It is the dumbed-down, obvious, cliche' lines writers insert to make some political point about their opposing party.  Give us all a break!  Please!  We're begging.  I mean, these are mostly liberal/Democratic jabs at the conservative/Republican party.  We all get that.  But, really, when one character describes a generous act of kindness from Joe-Blow and the other character says "But, he's a Republican!" with astonishment... or the villan is always a Republican, or Bree from Desperate Housewives doesn't even like to have sex... why?  Oh, yeh, because "I'm a Republican!!  Gasp!".  Boring.  Writers, heads up, this tactic is boring the EFF out of America.  Especially the ones I know.  It has worked before, that's why it keeps on coming, episode after episode after episode.  Unfortunately celebrity and Hollywood is so craved that America doesn't draw the line between Smoke and Mirrors Bullshit and Real Life Importance.  Wanna be cool?  Be a Democrat.  Wanna be a dud?  Be a Republican.  Or visa versa.  Are you cooky?  You must be a Democrat.  Are you sensible?  You must be a Republican.  It's so absurd.  But here's my chance to voice my opinion.  "Eh, hem... America (especially the Americans I know) is sick of the Party Food Fight in the cafeteria of the Political Elementary School you all attend!  The I'm a Republican/ I'm a Democrat game is OLD.  You are both the exact same asshole.  What has ever really changed with either of you.  You have both royally EFFED up our country.   I vote you all out.  Get out.  Gosh, I wish I made the rules for a day.  I'd elect Ron Paul and we may have a chance to survive this mess these old geezers have created for us.  At this point I feel that if we do not elect Ron Paul- a representative that actually reads, and follows the Constitution (what a concept!)- we get what we deserve.  And that will be a whole bunch of ugliness.  For instance, if this country was as infatuated with a looker and an orator back in the day as we are now... Thomas Jefferson would never have been elected to much of anything.  Why?  Because he didn't like speaking.  He was a thinker, not merely a speaker (or reader).  I want America to quit blinking and breathing and remaining oblivious to a lot of news that is in our face (like the dollar-  it's collapsing) and elect an actual person who is consistent, who is not a hypocrite (a Washington rarity) and who doesn't make up all the ideas as he goes.  Instead, he reads the Constitution.  If you vote according to Hannity... I feel sorry for us all.  He can't even win a debate on his own show.  He repeats himself like a parrot.  "Here's my 1,2,3 points I say over and over as I count them on my 1,2,3 fingers!  Then I throw a Nerf ball off stage like a dork!"  I'd put up with that ridiculous sign off he was even half-way worth listening to.  But, I gag when I hear him now.  And that's all over FOX.  And CNN too.  Has beens.  It's been revealed that baby-boomers may be hanging on to their news channels, but the new generations have caught on.  We get that you are big corporations.  We get that you are a business.  You have an agenda.  You are not the NEWS.  We go to other reliable and unbiased sources.  (I'd be happy to suggest some if anyone is interested.) Ask around.  Ask a thirty-something if they believe an ounce of what CNN or Fox reports.  Nada.  That will be the answer.  Thank God for that.

I'm typically tolerant and don't push my "Vote for..." on anybody.  But, I'm over that.  I'm screaming it this time around.  There are a lot of people that don't like to look stuff up, and instead of hoping they do, I'm going to say what I think to them.  Maybe, just maybe, they want to hear it.  We are at the point as a nation where we can't afford to make mistakes. 

Fox will bash Ron Paul because he's not a Fascist and CNN will bash Ron Paul because he's not a Communist.  And that's why I like him.  He's what we're supposed to be as Americans- a follower of our Constitution.  

And quite frankly- neither children, excuse me, neither Republicans nor Democrats have a solid, substantial, sensible argument against him.  Why?  Because he follows our Constitution and doesn't act as dictator, making rules up as he goes and having us all pay the price for it.

Do you know what Bush said about the Constitution?  That it was "just a piece of paper."  All of you Bush lovers hate me right now.  But, he did his part to ruin this country and take our liberties and he made everyone think it was for their own good.  He made everyone think being a Patriot is to give away your freedom.  (And Obama is on the same track.  He's made absolutely nothing better.  Has he?  What can anybody think of that is a truth and not a lie or a skewed statistic politically implanted to mislead?  Obama is Bush on steroids.  They both are on a fast track of "Crash and Burn America".)  

"If freedom means not having liberties, then I'm okay with that."  That's an actual comment from a stupid by-stander who drank the Kool-Aid.  Isn't it amazing how propoganda works?  Well, I'm not cool with that.  I'm not cool with many, many things that the Patriot Act makes law & strips from Americans.  Thomas Jefferson would fight these Patriot Act-pushers.  He would.  No doubt. He would fight the Federal Reserve and he would fight the Patriot Act.  And Thomas Jefferson is, well, probably this country's hero if we had to name one person.  I'm sick of losers off the street, unqualified individuals, becoming TSA officers and reserving the right to fondle Americans or view them completely naked... meanwhile the machine used is not effective at what it is proclaimed to do. (Maybe we should follow that money trail too... you guessed it! Michael Chertoff, former Secretary of Homeland Security and co-author of the Patriot Act and an advocate for body scanners.  Not only was he an advocate for them, he purchased them while in his position.  Now guess who gets paid for them.  Drum Roll... Michael Chertoff!! Rapid Scan Systems is a client of his consulting firm, The Chertoff Group.  Lined pockets my friends.  That is what 'We the People' really means- 'Line my Pockets'.)  That is not acceptable.  I'm not cool with the government's ability to track my every call, text, email, location from my cell phone and it remain stored for them to tap into at any time they choose.  I am not cool with the new questions they are asking "the selected Americans" when passports are requested.  I am not lying to you... one of them is "Are you circumcised?"... Is that okay with you all?  Or is it okay with you if it doesn't affect you directly at the moment?  Is it okay with you if get to keep watching American Idol and slurping on aspartame (another scam that was illegal until Donald Rumsfeld pushed it through to line his own pockets)? Because if it was you or your kid, my bet is on it NOT being cool with you.  The list of examples of jaw-dropping laws goes on and on.  It is probably why my muscles are in knots.  I read these FACTS that most Americans don't have a clue about (because CNN or FOX didn't feature them) and get super-duper tense.  

Breathe.

I am going to sum it up and not take this to a new level with a rant-a-thon.

Vote Ron Paul.  

In baby boomer lingo "He's a Patriot."

In thirty-something lingo "He's the only one who's saving your ass from absolute disaster."

In I-am-just-legal-to-vote lingo "He's the shizit."

Speaking of shizit...

I have realized a new personal protection device and strategy.  As I walk my 3 dogs I often daydream.  Recently, I thought about what would happen to an attacker if they approached me.  I thought, My dogs would be a deterrent.  China will scream and probably bite them.  Selma can do whatever she wants to them because she's a massive muscle and I hope she would choose to eat them.  And Honey Te'a would chase them and it would be her choice if she caught them or not because she is quick like lightning.  And me?  What would I do?  It's genius really.  I am a responsible dog-owner which means I have about two pounds of dog dung in a plastic bag, knotted and hanging from my hand until I reach a trash can (And there's always more where that came from!  I have three producers.).  I bet it would be a surprise to any ill-intender if I slung it around old-lady-bag style and whacked them right in the face with it.  It's such a positive to a negative thing.  Two negative things: the ill-intender and the poop I have to tote.  Think about it... squished poop on the face... the smell alone would stop them in their tracks.  I am packin' heat and didn't even know it!!

Oh my gosh, I have to go, I've been at this too long.  I'm sure there is more to say, like to figure out who made up the word shizit... was it Snoop?  Mr. Snoop Doggie Dogg.  Smooooth talkin' Snoop.  Ugh, I'm delirious all of a sudden.

I'm going to go eat some gnocchi and relax from the political frustration I have induced on myself.  You'll hear from me though.  Because earlier in the week I was reminded of some great Thomas Jefferson quotes and I thought that I would post them every now and then.  They are interesting and I love Thomas Jefferson.  I do.                                    

Oh, I promised a friend I'd keep up the chat about music.  Lately, I have listened to this song repeatedly 'Big Jet Plane' (acoustic) by Angus and Julia Stone.  It is lovely. Here it is.  I am including my favorite version, the acoustic version, first and then the official music video next.

Acoustic

Official Video

And Nick gave me a nice surprise after I kept the boutique on Tuesday.  I came home and he had dinner ready and Jane's Addiction playing.  There was some head banging at our table.  Revisit Jane's Addiction if you haven't listened to them lately.  Here's one I really like- "Stop".  And I LOVED Nick's performance of it complete with the Spanish introduction.  To me, he is ultra sexy when speaking languages I don't know.  Especially while I eat pasta he made for me. 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwI02OHtZTg&feature=related

Click on it... I had issues...

Tornado warnings here... gotta go.

This week's highlights...

Why is basil so impossible for me?  My husband calls me The Great Basil Killer.  He jinxed me.  Now, I can't keep it alive or fresh for more than a day.  It's very upsetting considering I view basil as a simple but fine luxury in my life.  Caprese sandwich, mmm.  Pizza Margherita, oh my heavens.  Pesto linguini with toasted pine nuts and cherry tomatoes, my eyes just rolled back in my head.  Delicious.  Basil, oh basil, please be my friend again.

This week has turned into a nature camp for me.  I have saved two baby turtles, conducted a funeral ceremony for a frog who had stretched out in prayer position and died (I returned him to the pond and he floated on his back with his little frog fingers clasped together like "namaste" while the big tadpoles swam below the surface.), I saw a snake, spoke to a man who petted a snake (no joke), saw a beaver, transplanted snails, watched the birds, scared yelping bullfrogs that kerplunked into the creek to hide from me, and marveled as a bunny rabbit ran away from one dog, skidded right by my three- luckily on leashes- and into the woods again.  Oh, and I dodged the five million squirrels that live in Edenton.  It has been an impressive exhibition.

Yesterday, I spent a portion of my afternoon baby-sitting my little pal Henry.  He's not quite a year and a half old.  He slept until the very end and then we had shake-your-maraca dance party.  His mommy pulled up and once he saw her it was Bye-Bye Beth.  This little lad loves his mama.   

Excuse me... sorry, I was just interrupted by a call from someone who got my name and number from a hotel registration and was telling me in a frantic way about a right-this-second promotional vacation.  I'm so over it.  "Really, give me your website, or email address, or phone number and I'll get back to you."  "Oh, no ma'am, we can't do that because if you call in two hours we won't be here.  I can't let you off the line because it's a secure connection and we'll be liable.  Blah, blah, blah."  I don't buy your sense of urgency madam.  I don't believe you called me from out of the blue to give me a fantastic vacation. Are these people really calling our cell phones now?  Give me the no-call list again, sign me up. 

Back to yesterday.  So, as my friend's children played throughout her house, she and I talked and on occasion were entertained by Henry.  He let us look in the  trunk of his push-truck.  Wow.  There is an eclectic mind at work.  Toys and jelly balls with tenticles, yes, but also in the mix- remote controls and child-safe bottles he asked for, and no telling what else.  He apparently finds must-have items all around the house and packs them in his trunk to take on his trips to the various rooms.  I asked, "So, when your missing things, do you head straight for Henry's truck?"  "Yep." It's so fun to observe tots.  They are full of wonderment and inventiveness.

Mark my words, this friend and I will take an exotic trip together some day.  I can see it. Eating, dancing, hiking, exploring cities, wrapping ourselves in exquisite silks... watching street artists, the whole bit.

As you all know, a horrible storm passed through the southern United States last weekend.  It was on our anniversary, actually.  (So was the Virginia Tech school shooting in 2007. Very sad.)  We watched Hereafter, an interesting but predictable and slow-paced movie that opened with a natural disaster, a tsunami.  At that moment in time, a natural disaster was in action about 10 miles from our sofa wrecking lives all over Bertie County, Chowan's neighboring county.  The aftermath is devastating.  There were many fatalities and the destruction is widespread.  I feel that there are many helpers coming forth though from all around and things will get better for these people and their families.  I hope so.  Bertie County was hit by a flood not too long ago.  And from what I hear, that was on the heels of another flood.  Maybe, there will be a nice, long break from disaster for these exhausted communities.

As a celebration for our anniversary Nick and I went to a Salt Spa in Williamsburg.  It was superb.  We relaxed in a salt cave and had massages.  Nick apparently is "a dream for people who do what I do" according to the massage therapist.  She thought he should be a trainer.  She thought he had the best muscle tissue she's encountered since she began massage in 1994.  "For someone with this much muscle mass, you are remarkably free of knots.  You must stretch and workout..." You get the picture.  I was proud to hear it though, as I stretched back in my reclining chair, inhaling salt air.  Trying to relax all of my body, I did succeed by the end of the hour, before my turn on the table.  I dozed off a time or two. I kept waking myself though.  I was cackling in my dream and then my eyes would pop open because I didn't know if I had done that for real or just in my dream.  I do that kind of sh*t all the time.  I jerk before I fall asleep sometimes.  Massive jerks.  Or sometimes I sleep on my arm until it falls asleep and is numb, I wake up, freak out because I can't feel my limb, reach over and pick it up with my other, working hand, and sling it.  Then, the deadened arm slaps me in the face.  Whack!  Ouch!  Miscalculation.  Anyway, it was then my turn to get a massage.  One minute into it and she was like "Oh. My. Gosh.  You are way over due.  I shouldn't be stopping right here (pointing to my wrist) from tension!"  She got to my shoulders and it was like a grunt fest. My knots were giving her fits.  She worked her way down to my feet... she's still baffled. "For such a little body, I can't believe you have this many issues going on!"  Now, you get this picture too.  I was an extreme opposite picture of healthy muscle mass to Nick's- I was seriously tight.  Muscle tension mania.  Sigh.  I looked up from my table at Nick, who had a sympathetic look on his face.  That quickly turned into a sly smile as he raised his fore finger into the air to show me that he, indeed, is #1.  Again.

Inhale, Exhale, Relax.  I need to tell myself, "Just breathe." I need to get back to my yoga.  I need to go exhaust my muscles by dancing until I can't dance anymore.  I not only need to do that... I want to do that.  Want is better than need.

China and Selma Lu Mela are being serenaded by a chirper as they sleep on the window seat. Curled into little balls, they snooze and sigh.  They love my writing days.  I do too.  Honey T'ea Lina spaced out two days ago and ended up getting the dreaded bath twice in one week.  (My other two run into the shower. They love it. Not the TeaLite. She freezes in fear.)  What happened was this- She was playing chase with Selma, ran into the woods which isn't a big deal because she does that sometimes, but she kept going.  Selma Lu stopped and looked back at us- she was not participating.  Then, Honey made her way all the way down to the nasty, muddy creek and stood there.  We called her.  She stood there.  (It was a while until we spotted her, she was so deep down in creek.) We kept calling.  She kept standing there, staring at us.  She must have blacked out.  She was frozen, blank.  Finally, Nick tossed a rock through the trees and into the creek to splash the water and she became unstuck, responding again to the world around her.  Then, it was straight to the shower.  Bet she won't do that again.

Last but not least- Earth, we love you.  Happy Earth Day.  And Katherine, I love you to the moon and back.  And past that even!  You are a special, wise, perceptive young lady.  I adore you with all of my heart and soul and will continue to do so forever.  Happy 10th birthday to you.  You make me proud every time I see your face. In my life's painting, you are a bright stroke.  You are a highlight.  You are a focal point.    

     

The 4.11 on April 11th

The Three Pooches
A Typical Morning Walk

I walk my three dogs now.  Not two, but three dogs.  They dance around each other nicely and I do pretty well myself, occasionally hopping over a leash or twirling to avoid being wrangled like a rodeo clown.  This is the amusing part to me.  I walk along and people, without fail, say the same words.  They are, "You've got your hands full there."  Not kidding.  The only variance is when they tack on "Looks like" before "You've got your hands full there."  Upon completing the sentence they promptly urge their dog to run over and mingle with my three.  I then have a fourth pooch to wrestle around and avoid tangling leashes with as I am dragged around at mercy to the 95 pounds or so of canine chaos.  China, the little one, weighing about 13-14 pounds somehow pulls the hardest.  She has a bit of a "little man syndrome" when on a walk and competes with the big dogs to prove she's the alpha of the group.  She has a frantic greeting with other dogs.  It's the funniest half-bark-half-scream scurry I've ever seen.  Selma Lu Mela has all the potential to be the hardest to walk, but she is less curious than she is a nervous pleaser.  Honey (Te'a Lina) is quiet and steady and focused. She really stabilizes the group so it is no problem that she has joined our walks.  She helps out as best she can.  Selma Lu has started her annual Selma vs the bumble bee saga.  She jumps, bites the air, tries to be sneaky and suddenly charge them.  She never wins.  Once when she was a wee little pup she came over to where I was sitting at a table and when I reached down to pet her chin, not looking away from my mom during our conversation, she carefully put her upper lip on my hand.  I felt it and immediately looked down at her.  It felt so unlike a lip. She looked up at me with the fattest left upper lip I have ever seen.  The bumble bee started this life-long fight apparently.  She was stung on the lip.  A dog's immune system is marvelous though, and it shrunk back to normal size in no time at all.

Have you ever heard of the Niacin Flush?  If you ever take Niacin you will know what the Flush is.  I sit here typing with skin the color of a red pepper and I am itchy and on fire.  This is the worst it has ever been hands down.  This is normal I have read and actually shows signs of progress in the body.  It's all about blood flow and detoxification.  You'll have to put it in the search engine and read up on it if you ever try Niacin- I can't recite what I read.  It lasts only a little while.  It may be gone and I may be my usual winter white self by the time I am half way into my next paragraph.  

So, today is April 11th, significant because this is the ten year anniversary of meeting my husband.  We will be married 6 years come Saturday, but this date is just as important to me.  It is the date that my world went from No-Nick to Nick. An important transition.  I am less traditional I suppose by saying this, but I value this date as much or more than a wedding anniversary date because I could have lived with Nick "like married" forever and it would have been fine with me.  I was as happy with him before as I have been after a marriage ceremony.  Our behavior didn't change nor did our loyalty and love.  So, happily married I sit, but I am sure that I would be as devoted as I am now if we weren't technically hitched.  The ceremony of it and the way marriage presents you as a couple to society- that is the main distinction that I have noticed.  But, as I have noted before, we are the type to live 'as married' with one another whether we are married or not.  Which is a hefty dynamic in a relationship.  There is so much junk that I never have had to think about in our relationship and I am so thankful for that because the drama that some people endure with the ones they love is heartbreaking to hear about.  It must be draining to deal with certain devastations regarding an unequal approach to a relationship.

First Official Date!
April of 2001- KD Luau

As for April 11, 2001- I look back at all my giddiness and the gut-feelings I had about this handsome boy I found at a bar in Athens, GA and say with delight, "It all turned out wonderfully."  The main memory I have is the eye contact.  I locked eyes with this really handsome guy across a crowd and he didn't look away.  My eyes bounced around a time or two as I contemplated whether or not he was looking at me and he did a bang-up job of answering that question because his eyes stared straight at me and didn't move.  And that confidence (and his calves) definitely got my attention.  So, he came over, leaned in to my ear and said, simply, "I'm Nick."  Voila.  Hello, Nick.  I'm in love.  I think I stuck my foot in my mouth several times during our initial conversation.  And then I kept calling him by the wrong last name every time I introduced him to a friend.  He finally spelled it for me and I had it from then on.  What can I say... I'm visual... and it was probably 2 am at least by the time I was into introductions.

The Katherine and Beth Duo

Not long after I met my love, another love came into my life.  I think I may have been the first person on Earth to see her.  (Her birthday is Earth Day too.)  I was being the loving sister that I am (eh hem, Paige) and pampering my pushing sister during her first child birth.  Shane was focused on her completely and so when the time came for Katherine's entrance something came over me and I just had to be there!  I never asked permission from my sister, which may have been nice, but I was there and it was miraculous indeed.  And from the first moment she hit light she has been a beautiful ray of light in my life.  And the same goes for Landry and Madeline.  But, I was the baby in my family.  I had never seen a fresh, new baby.  This was my first infant to claim.  I never even knew if I could do kids before then.  I had never held a baby for any substantial amount of time, never comfortably without being scared the mommy was going to snap and bite me if I did something wrong.  I had no instinct.  And every time I was shampoo shopping and a cart full of screaming kids was sharing my aisle I really thought I was going to slam my head into the shelf to put myself out of my misery.  That's the sort of uncertainty I had before Katherine.  But, she came and I couldn't get my hands on her fast enough.  I could have swallowed her my affection was so intense.  And now she is nearly 10 years old.  A special thing Katherine and I share is that she was born on the 22nd and her Life number is 11.  I was born on the 11th and my number is 22.  So, we are mates.

Before Nick and I wed in 2005 I planted the Sunday before.  I was in my garden with the back door open so that I could see the golf tournament on television.  It was Masters Sunday and Tiger won and I remember it vividly.  This past Sunday I watched the Masters (a thrilling performance by all) and was pulling for Tiger again.  I like watching him play and especially in The Masters.  I think many are afraid to root for him now given all his past personal problems, but I still do.  I am not asking him to be a spiritual leader or an elementary school principal or an elected official or anything that concerns his personal life and poor or wise decisions.  I see him for what he has offered to be publicly and that is a professional golfer and he is amazing at that job.  I must also say that people who drool over JFK scorn Tiger Woods and that is perplexing.  JFK was an elected President who did many shameful things in his private life.  Tiger Woods is a professional golfer...  That's just an example.  Tiger screwed his personal life up royally, but I don't want to be in the audience- it is none of my bee's wax.  The fact that he was seven strokes back and I could say to my husband that he was still in the race and be right... that I will be a spectator of and say "wow."  Anyway, I am just saying that I pulled for him.  It was all crazy.  So many people were stepping in and out of the lead and all of Tiger's putts were spitting in his face.  How they didn't drop I do not know.  Golf versus physics is like Selma versus the bumble bee.  It is one-sided.

I am again translucent in skin color and do not feel like hot dragon breath is blasting me.  Thought that may be note-worthy.

April 11th has another neat memory for me.  It is Nick's uncle Oleg's birthday.  He would be 98 today.  According to his last plan that he told us about this would only put him slightly past the half way mark in his ten year plan. He said he started working with weights.  Anyway, he passed and I would ask him for signs occasionally to know he was there.  I got many.  Really cool ones like seeing a Punk'd episode where the 'victim' wore a 'COLEGE' teeshirt and his button-up shirt fell over the C and the E leaving OLEG in the middle.  That was right after I was talking to him in my head.  And I had a dream of him that was probably the most real life dream I have ever had in my entire life. That's too long to get into now.  There are many other neat signs but the one having to do with today is this: I told him often that I met Nick on his birthday and so I always remembered it.  I was driving my car in Atlanta after having returned from his funeral in NYC and I was thinking about it all, very sad.  (I am hoggish about asking for signs & the ones I love that have left probably get really tired of me asking for them.)  Then, suddenly, coming from across the many empty lanes of the road I was on was this car.  It zoomed directly in front of me and stayed.  I thought the guy was on crack.  It was the dumbest driving I had seen in a while.  But, there in my vision was his car tag.  It said APRIL 11.  And I said, "Thanks, Oleg."  Because the first thing I think of on 4.11 is meeting Nick.  The second thing I think of is Oleg.  So, the tag made sense to me.  Little things like that add up.  

Spring Flowers and Blue Skies
at The Cotton Mill

Spring sprung.  It is here.  The weather has been pleasant and being out doors feels better than it has in a long time.  Selma Lu Mela ran through a field of yellow flowers bringing her ball back to me so that I could throw it in pathetic fashion for her to chase.  Honey Te'a Lina hasn't been farther than an arms length from me all day. She didn't even leave me to explore in the woods by the creek.  And China Lingua has learned how to follow her leash around me so that I don't have to do anything but say "Other side, China" and she lines up.  She is a smart cookie.  It has been a very good day.  Oh, and!!! My husband has publicly (on facebook) agreed to "spoil me absolutely rotten" for the next 50+ years.  That sounds like a Master plan.  That is an April 11th to remember. (...Just in case he doesn't.)


pssst...* Here's a link to listen to another song that was on the long-ago song suggestion list.  Perfect song for a morning walk!
Norah Jones and Wyclef- Any Other Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPjATjFlIqk&feature=player_embedded